Here's my thing of the day:
If you have not clicked that link, stop. Go click. Now.
It is perhaps the funniest thing I have EVER read in my life.
I'm a huge one liner fan and love things like textsfromlastnight.com etc.
Well this is a British couple that have gone viral! Adam, the husband, talks in his sleep and his wife started writing down and recording what he was saying. She kept it to herself for a while, but finally posted it on a blog and it has gone completely viral on the net, including interviews, etc.
According to Karen, the wife, Adam is a sweet kind man during the day, but his sleep persona is a completely witty asshole.
My favorites one liners are:
"I'm baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows."
"Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."
"Please just walk away. I don't want to have to stand here and say something so awesome that I'll have to remember it the rest of the day. Thank you!"
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"By the way, washing in rose water doesn't stop you smelling like a piece of shit."
"Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."
"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"
"Do you like what you see? No? Well, bloody look harder. Strain your eyes!"
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"
"Dance for me, go on. Oh you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack..... Doofus."
And there's soooo much more..... go to sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com to see more! There's not a ton of posts so you can probably read them all within 10 minutes.... but if you need a laugh--- go there!