Friday, March 27, 2009

I have to start the search over AGAIN

Today I found out that my 520 hours that I was required to finish in my temp position will be over by friday of next week. I, of course, am PUMPED because FINALLY I'll be made full time - because the temp agency can't pay me anymroe cuz i used up the hours, right?

Wrong.

It turns out that it actually gets CHEAPER for my company to pay the temp agency after 520 hours. this means they used to pay 10% now they only have to pay 5%.

So I'm confused and I've been here for over 3 months so I want to know what's going on with my FUTURE. Dennis, my supervisor, has been telling me for the last TWO months that they NEED me and that I'll be made permanent really "SOON".

So I talk to Dennis to get a little recap on what's going on and any status updates. So I talk about the 520 hour thing and he says that I can still be a temp- that's not a problem- My temp agency won't just drop me off the face of the Earth. So I'm relieved. Then I ask about being hired permanently. And he said that he has had meetings and tried over and over to get me permanent. He had a meeting with the "powers thatbe" last Friday aout permanancy as well. And I said.... and??? And he said that right now the company is in a "slow" period at that as of right now - they're over budget and they can't afford to hire me - what with the huge 12 cent raise I'll be getting and health insurance.... that they'll mainly be taking out of my paycheck.

So I asked..... will I be made permanently?? And he said that as of right now - everything is up in the air. He says that he doesn't know if I'll ever be made permanently- but not to worry because I'll still be able to temp with them for a while.

He then proceeded to tell me that he'll keep me updated and if I can't be made permanently and they can't afford me that I'll "be the first to know."

Oh. Em. Gee THANKSSSSSSSSS. I'm glad to know I'll be the first to know when I'm on the street on my ass all desolate and unemployed AGAIN.

WTF???? This company spends like HUNDREDS of dollars to pay for our sales guys meals/alcohol. The company WASTES money on the stupidest and frivolous things. But when it comes to hiring someone at 27,500 which is PENNIESSSS compared to what other people around here are getting paid (aka- the person just THREE ranks ahead of me is getting a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS EVERY YEAR - while I will make that much in TEN YEARS) - they can't hire me.

And I NEED it. I need health insurance. I need a job. but their big lunches and expensive cars and needless trips to vegas and MASSIVE amounts of alcohol that those trips have and that the company pays for..... yeah that's more important. And YES I'm just a lowly contract Admin. I'm not respected. I'm dumb. I get it. BUT when all of your contracts aren't followed after and when tehre's no one to answer the phones for you- and when the GOOOOD work- that you don't get ANY complains about is gone.... THEN tell me if those decisions were worth it.

I work HARD. I pick up jobs like fucking Bank Statements that NO ONE WANTS TO DO- and I do it with a smile and I excel at the job. When YOU AND THE DUMBASS makes mistakes- and someone needs to call ALLLLLLL of our inspectors and apologize for our mistakes and ask for their W-9s (2 months late) so that they can get their taxes done- IIIIII DO THE BITCH WORK AND WITH A GOD DAMN SMILE- even though I was YELLED at for 2 weeks straight.

It's so GOD DAMN fucked up.

And since I was basically PROMISED a permanent job- I HAVEN"T BEEN LOOKING for any other position!!!! So basically I'm fucking screwed. I could have been looking for a job that pays me MORE than fucking $13 an hour ANDDDD gives me health insurance. But no. I haven't been because I was told that it was a DEFINITE thing for me to be hired. I feel like such a FOOL.

I told my temp agency that they need to start looking for other jobs- because I will be too. ANDD I'll be going on job interviews DURING the day. Because it doesn't matter- I can take as many days off as I want- I just won't be getting paid because I'm not permanent. And when I leave this job for another job- I hope they have a great time finding someone who does this job and all the OTHER fucking jobs you had me do as well as I do ANDDDD I hope you have someone to train them.

I told the temp agency that I'm giving it to the end of May. I better either be permanent by the end of may or I better have another position. And that's final. I'm not your BITCH anymore. I will not be pushed around and I will not be complacent. I'm taking charge and I'm getting a fucking better paying job.

Dennis even TOLD ME: " It's up to you whether you want to stick around and hope that we can make you permanent- or look around- and if some company comes up to you and offers you a lot more money and health insurance- we'll throwyou a pizza party becuase you deserve that" He's encouraging me to look for other jobs. WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME TO DO THAT BEFORE. God I'm such an idiot but WHAT THE HELL. I need to be kept updated about this shit. I'm so pissed.

Ok I'm done for now- but expect a lot of crying, anger, screaming, plotting, depression and MASSIVE AMOUNTS of stolen creamer. Fuck you FSS FUCK YOU

Sunday, March 1, 2009

It never stops playing over in my head

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...